After a mix-up with a member of the Royal Family, traffic wardens, Eric and Ernie decide to take a holiday to the South Of France. However when they arrive there, they find themselves caught up in the plot of Le Pirate who has stolen a collection of valuable jewels and plans to use Eric and Ernie to smuggle the collection out of France. He lures them to an old villa filled with traps and uses Claudette, another member of the gang, to keep Eric and Ernie busy. However, other jewel thieves are after the jewels and Eric continues to find their bodies in the villa just before it disappears. However both Eric and Ernie start to wonder just what is going on, while fighting over the love of Claudette, and starts to investigate... And Claudette, whose side is she on?...

A chance meeting with a Schlecht agent forces a humble coffee shop manager into the secret world of spies in Swinging London. With the help of his MI5 friend, he poses as the recently dead Major Cavendish who had managed to infiltrate the dreaded organization; he knows that they are intending to assassinate someone - could it be the famous Russian ballerina who has recently arrived for an appearance at Covent Garden?